Let me set a scene. A café table, chipped at the edges. Coffee cooling faster than my patience. Across from me, someone’s running through their personal “red flag list” like they’re ticking boxes before boarding a flight. Talks too much. Doesn’t text back fast enough. Chews weird.
I sip, nod, and think: gods, what a waste of energy.
Collecting red flags isn’t my sport. Handing out warning tickets? Even less so. Because here’s the trick — I don’t expect anything by default from anyone. Zero deposits, zero promises, zero mental contracts. That makes my life a hell of a lot easier.
See, the moment you start stacking expectations, you’re basically writing a script for someone who never auditioned. Then you get mad when they don’t stick to your lines. Why bother?
When I meet people, I take them as they are in the moment. Not as they could be, should be, or might be if they just read enough self-help books. You show kindness? Great, I’ll enjoy it while it’s here. You show arrogance? Fine, I clock it and move on. Nothing lost, because nothing was owed.
Travel sharpened that lesson. On the road, people drift in and out like weather — a stranger who helps you find the right platform, a hostel roommate who eats your yogurt, a local who insists you sit down for tea. You can’t control it, and you can’t predict it. So why script it?
I’m not saying lower your standards. I’m saying ditch the imaginary rulebook. People are unpredictable, messy, inconsistent creatures — myself included. And the less I expect, the more space there is for surprise.
So no, I don’t sit around drawing red flags on napkins. I let people show themselves in real time. And honestly? Life’s lighter this way.
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